Dogs don’t do hairdressers… Well this dog doesn’t

I may be a 1st world dog but this is where I draw the line. Ok I hear some dogs go to a place called a groomer. My mates down the street do because they have big fluffy coats. The younger of my mates has to roll around on the grass for a good 10mins when he gets home to get the smell of sprayy stuff off himself. So I’m not a groomer type dog. Nope. Short hair and worse case when mum isn’t happy because I have found and rolled in good stinky stuff she puts me in the shower…..
So why has mum bought the toddler a little hairdressers set and why does the toddler think I am the sort of dog who should have a curler put in his ear. Quietly sitting on lounge minding my own business and the next thing I know toy hair dryer at my face, curler trying to be attached to my ear and a bow being stuck on my head. I don’t think so! Well not unless toddler shares her popcorn with me (her latest favorite snack and I don’t mind it either).